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Submitted on
May 7, 2010
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seperated age 3
twins forever will always be
lost eachother till age 13
played together for centuries
till one friday 13th
one fell in a well
the other ran for help
no one found
girl in the well cracked her skull
blood pouring out she died
the other tricked into killing her self
told she would she her dear sister again
vivian and valene
ummmm......i got really bored and wrote this and if u dont like well no comments and f*** you
:iconbiteme51:
biteme51 Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2010
okay thx for the advice do u write poems i'll have to think more when i write the next
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:iconmegstiel:
megstiel Featured By Owner May 31, 2010  Student General Artist
Hmm...

You could start off by adding more to the story, who were these twins? What are their personalities like? Why were they separated? Who fell into the well? Then add more details so it puts an image in my head, so instead of "blood pouring out", "blood oozing out, drying on the girl's cracked skin". After that, I would add proper punctuation and you're all set!
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